Motherhood, Women, and Nurturing Influences

This is a fine day to reflect on being a mother, appreciating motherly influences in my life, watching my daughters (biological or otherwise) contribute to the world, and reading about the positive qualities of some of my great-grandmothers and their circle of good to those around them. 

Amber is seen here helping her daughter, Abby, to fill out her very first tithing slip to give to the Bishop on his front porch, while Gwen patiently waits. Abby earned $5.50 by helping me to pick 183 dandelion heads last week and wanted to pay her 10% tithes to help people all over the world. :)

When I was growing up, I remember looking forward with eagerness to becoming a mother one day. It was somewhat of a surprise when my patriarchal blessing mentioned very specifically that I would "delight in raising, teaching and training them" (my children). And yet it was so very true! I have very fond memories of when my children were very young, somewhat young, and not so young. I delighted in reading to them, playing with them, creating with them, exploring with them, teaching them and showing love to them. I have a particular fondness for little ones, maybe because of their childlike wonder at the world around them. 

I appreciate all the women who helped raise me, who supported me through all my teenage years and failures, and who loved me unconditionally. The list of influential women in my life would include my mother, my grandmothers, Aunt Juanita Brown Slay, Aunt Carol Brown Gillette, Terri Scheuermann (I used to babysit her children often), Vicki Oeding, Marie McKell, Gen Knudsen & Ida Middleton (the sweet stake missionaries that taught the gospel to our family and took a particular interest in my sister Charmaine and me), Janet Fawson, Grace Waddell Johnston, Lynda Christensen, Cyndi Briggs, Mary Denna, and many more. I am grateful for their love and the interest that they took in my life and my sometimes difficult circumstances. I felt of their genuineness and sincerity in every interaction I had with them.

Now, I am watching my daughter, Amber, raise her own children and what a joy it is. I see my adopted daughter, Chelsea, striving to make a positive impact in our world today by caring for those who lack basic necessities, speaking up for those who need a voice, and always being purposeful and sincere in her love and associations. I see my new daughters-in-law, Hannah and Kylie, as they show love to my sons. They demonstrate kindness and humor, loyalty and devotion. With these great qualities, I know they will be amazing mothers some day as well.

In addition to all the women I have known personally in my life, I also decided to look on my family tree for something to share about a female ancestor that I didn't necessarily know in this life, but whom I look forward to meeting in the next. I settled on my 2nd great grandmother, Mary Ann Hockman Snider. Her granddaughter, Vera Snider Teague (my great-aunt), recorded some cherished memories about Mary that she heard from her own mother, Sarah Jane Baugh Snider (my great grandmother). Mary was Sarah's mother-in-law, but it is very evident that they had a close relationship and that Sarah learned a great deal from her.

Photo from my Grandpa John Snider's book, From Buckskins to Teambells:

From Vera Snider Teague's book, Life with the Old-Timers:

"Mary had always been a loyal friend to her (Sarah). She admired and respected her. She remembered that Mary had always been a strong person not given much to sentiment but always seemed able to accomplish most anything she set her mind to do. She had her own way of going about things and didn't have much regard for what others might think of her methods. 

"For instance, she always rode astride, refusing the sidesaddle ladies were expected to use. Furthermore, she prepared for her ride by donning a pair of John's trousers. It was considered scandalous for a woman to put on a man's garment in those days. To Mary it was convenient and therefore the sensible thing to do.

"When she scrubbed her floors she tied her skirts and pulled them up to her knees and removed her shoes and stockings. The floors were of pine and bare. Mary would scatter sand on them, slosh water and scrub with a broom, rinsing with more water. Usually there were no men folk around when she scrubbed but if there were she certainly did not consider herself immodest. In fact, she didn't seem to think of it one way or another. She also scrubbed down her porches, wooden walks and spring house where she kept her milk and butter while barefoot and with her skirts pulled up out of her way.

"She loved flowers, and indoors her windows were lined with potted plants. Outdoors she always had many flowers growing. She took pride in her herb garden which she used for seasoning or for medicinal purposes. She also grew a large vegetable garden. She had a wild flower garden she had started by transplanting many wild flowers or had grown them from seeds she had gathered.

"On coming to California when she first saw the ocean she loved it. She managed to steal moments from her busy life to roam the seashore which was only about two hundred feet from their home. Her parlor displayed many beautiful shells she had found there. 

"Mary was artistic. She showed her skill in numerous ways. In weaving the cloth for household needs and family clothing, which she designed into needed garments stitched with neat, tiny stitches by hand. She made her thread by spinning cotton, flax or wool on her spinning wheel. She made her yarn from the best wool, washed, carded and sometimes dyed, from which she knitted their socks, stockings, mittens, caps, sweaters and so on. Many garments and linens were decorated with her exquisite embroidery, hemstitching, crocheted, or knitted laces.

"She made pictures intricate and lovely from many kinds of seeds of various sizes, shapes and colors. She also glued these seeds following certain designs on wood to create unusual and attractive picture frames, or covered various-sized boxes. On some, besides the seeds she used tiny shells such as periwinkle, tiny pebbles and bits of abalone shell. 

"She tried to teach her daughters to do all these things but none of them could do as well. Perhaps they lacked the determination and patience. But in Sarah, Mary found an apt pupil especially in quilt making and in making rugs and carpets from rags, that were beautiful. Sarah was like Mary in many ways.

"Mary would tackle anything she wanted to see accomplished. She had long wanted an outdoor clay oven like those much used by her people who were Pennsylvania Dutch. Mary always referred to one these as a Dutch oven. They had not been at Westport (CA) long until Mary, tired of waiting for the men to get around to it, started building one herself. She was wise because the men helped her finish it.

"Sarah was so impressed with the delicious taste of things baked in this oven she wanted one of her own. She wrote down the instructions of how to make one but never got around to having one of her own." (Vera recorded Sarah's notes in her book on how Mary built the "Old Fashioned Clay Oven")

I am always so fascinated by the articulate and detailed descriptions of my 2nd great grandmother. I can't wait to meet her someday. I have visited her grave twice now. First with my sister, Charmaine and my dad, John Snider, back in 2016; and then again last Thanksgiving with my son Jacob and his wife Hannah.

As I found these photos to share just now, I was overcome with emotion while looking at them. I felt an instant connection to Mary and I know she was aware of me at the same time. What a beautiful moment.

I am grateful to be a mother, an influencer, a grandmother, and someday a great grandmother to my posterity, all of which I hope will be enormous! :)

This past week has been filled with more painting in my kitchen and it is showing some progress, albeit slowly. 

I don't want to say how long it took me to get three simple cabinet doors hung back up. I couldn't figure out the right way to place the hinges and had to try numerous times to get it situated correctly. I was getting super frustrated and even sweaty as I fought the urge to have an outburst that might not be very ladylike. Eventually I did get them on correctly and thank goodness. 

Then it was time to go outside and sit in my own grownup swing with the girls in order to bring my blood pressure down. 

I've had a lot of fun with the girls lately. One occasion was when they were snuggled under some blankets on top of my bed and then they called to me down the hall to come see what they were doing. We ended up doing a spontaneous and hilarious photo shoot.

Gwen has a particular fondness for me and always wants to be near me. My favorite time with her is when we just sit on the stairs and talk about sweet things together, like how we are each a child of God and how much He loves us. Other times, she is very silly and giggles easily.

I taught her how to use a pick to strum the guitar and she really enjoyed that.

She definitely loves music, as shown here. :) She didn't even look up when I got in close to take her picture, ha ha.

Abby really enjoys music too, and when she isn't singing or listening to princess soundtracks, she has been learning how to play "Love at Home" out of the hymnbook. Amber wrote out the words and color-coded the notes for Abby, then placed corresponding stickers on the piano keys with the correct letters of the notes. Abby has been practicing the song and is doing great!

Meanwhile, Scott has been honing up on his dart-throwing abilities when he's down at one of the offices where he works. He showed me his manly skills the other night during our video chat.

He's doing great though. He's been running a few times a week still, even though it's pretty hot there. He also goes to the gym every day and does 100 burpees. I can't do those AT ALL, so I'm in serious awe of his strength. Way to go, ya hunk!

Weston had to scurry to make some new decisions a few days ago as to his externships coming up. He was supposed to go to Salem,VA in the next couple of weeks, but things went downhill for that location, so he submitted a new plan to his school down in Texas. He expects to hear back from them tomorrow and to find out if his requests have been approved. He has asked for an in-house externship back down in San Antonio for the summer, then a private-practice externship for the fall, also in San Antonio. For his final externship, he put in a request for Shreveport, Louisiana. He is looking forward to this arrangement, he just needs to get approved first.  

Weston, reading Curious George with his snuggly daughters

It's an interesting scenario, if he gets it all approved. They just moved up here FROM San Antonio, and he might be headed back down TO San Antonio and would be there until Christmas!! There are multiple reasons why Amber and the girls would still stay here with me, though. It would be much more costly to find housing for an entire family as opposed to a solo renter, Amber wouldn't have a dedicated space for her art business, and the thought just seems overwhelming to pack up and move again just as the girls are finally getting settled into a routine. It will all work out as it should. It's just amazing to watch their journey and process unfold, seeing numerous twists and turns in the process. But they are full of faith and have prayerful hearts. They trust in the details that a loving Father in Heaven is helping to oversee. All will be well in the end, no matter where Weston ends up going for his final year of school. 

Lastly, all of my children surprised me with a HUGE bouquet of flowers and a lovely box of chocolates yesterday. I was just expecting phone calls, but they pulled off a sneaky one! 

I was in charge of the girls for a while yesterday morning, as Amber had a couple things she was trying to do, and Weston was working out in the yard fixing a broken sprinkler and doing the weed-whacking. I had two very young, but eager apprentices who helped to clean two bathrooms with me. They oohed and aahed at the pink toilet bowl cleaner. They each took a turn scrubbing the toilets. And they found all kinds of surfaces to clean with a Clorox wipe. But by the time we moved on to dusting the living room, I was definitely losing them. Gwen was hangry (hunger+angry) so I needed to get her some food STAT. But then she also needed a diaper change ASAP. While I was changing her, Abby began wailing because she couldn't fold up the blanket on the floor that I had asked her to take care of.  I tried to toggle between two very sad little girls and eventually got the issues resolved. (Flashback to younger motherhood days . . .) Within a few minutes of all of that, Amber walks in the door with this huge vase of beautiful blooms and says, "Happy Mother's Day!!" She was quick to emphasize that this was from ALL of my children. Happy tears. It's so nice to be loved. 

Jacob called me this afternoon from Scipio, Utah. He's been spending the weekend with Hannah's parents on their beautiful ranch, riding 4-wheelers, visiting the horses and cows, and tending the pork ribs in the smoker today. What a fun time and what a cute couple they are!

I am grateful for the loving influences of the beautiful women, daughters, granddaughters, aunts, moms, grandmas, friends, sisters, and all the good women of the world. Thank you for nurturing your little corner of the world in the best way you know how. And thank you for nurturing me in the process, too. Thank you.