Problems With Miraculous Solutions
Yes, this week has been an interesting one . . . I'll just get it all out and then we can move on. :)
But first, here is Jack. He will magically bring some zen into this blog post before I even get going.
So Monday morning, I called the Ford dealership in town to have them take a look. Only actually, they are the only Ford dealership in town and with all the new people moving to Idaho Falls (from CA . . .), they are pretty backed up and couldn't get me in until AFTER my trip to CA in a couple weeks. That wouldn't do, so I called our favorite non-Ford fixer guys, Sage Creek Repair, and they told me to bring the car in right away!
They discovered over the course of the next couple of days that it was my grill shutters that weren't working. The shutters are supposed to sense heat and cold, as well as any abundant moisture, therefore knowing when to open or shut accordingly. But my shutters were closed and would not budge. They weren't allowing any ventilation to happen under the hood in the extreme heat we've been having, and that's when the car wanted to switch over into "limp mode" . . . get this . . . right around 25 mph!!!
On the third day with the fixer guys, they wanted to take the entire front bumper off to potentially replace the entire grill shutter assembly (for $2,066) . . . Meanwhile, Scott had an inspired epiphany over in Italy. He called me that morning and said, "Do you remember when we got all that work done on the front end of the car last year when I had that little fender bender? What if this problem is somehow related to that?"
So I called the Ford dealership again and after discussing the issue at length with the man that answered the phone in the body shop, he passed me off to the manager, Bob. Bob told me, "I see here (on his computer) that we did $7,000 worth of work on your car last August 13th, including installing a brand new grill shutter assembly. I'd like to take a look at this myself because I want to guarantee my work. How soon can you get it over here?"
I was able to get a ride from my neighbor's teenage daughter, Mady, and get the car over to Ford for a look-see. Just a few minutes after I got home, Bob called to say that he had already found the problem! When they installed it last August, somehow the assembly had been plugged into the wrong plug!! Instesad of the motor being plugged into the ACTUAL plug, they had plugged it into the "dummy plug". That's why it was unresponsive and uncooperative . . . it had no brains!! He fixed it, took it for a test drive, and declared it to be fit for my upcoming travels. Hooray! The best part - it didn't cost me a penny because it was still under warranty. I did pay the other fixer guys $168 for their time and efforts, and it was worth every penny I told them. If they hadn't gotten me in so quickly, this problem would not have been treated as urgently and I would still be having the worrisome issue . . . Amazing.
Problem #2: A family issue came up where a person with good intentions became a little too aggressive in coming up with solutions. It's hard when our parents get older and some delicate decisions need to be made. Several of Scott's siblings would like to see Phil and Coy move into a smaller place, like a retirement center or assisted living, where they can be cared for and not have to do so much at their advancing age. But we also want to respect their wishes at the same time. It's a delicate balance of trying to help them vs. not forcing them to do something they really don't want to do.
After several phone calls where I was forced to become an integral part of the decision process, I tried to diffuse the situation (with the one individual) using love and the little bit of wisdom that I possess (on my good days). I said that we can have the best of intentions for someone we love, but we shouldn't force anything on them. That's the equivalent of taking away someone's agency, which is not something that Jesus would do. I also said that for Mom and Dad Harmon, if we try to circle the wagons a little too tightly, then they will feel strangled and claustrophobic about what we're trying to do and this will cause bad feelings and frustration. It's best to just respect their wishes at this point and let them have a choice in the matter.
I'm not sure I really got through to this person, but I felt good about my approach and what I tried to convince them of. I don't think this was a "miraculous solution", but maybe it was just a good attempt to keep the family on good terms in spite of some strong and passionate, yet differing views.
Problem #3: My neighbor two doors down, Billie, called me and wanted to discuss the neighbor in between us (Ellen) and the problems that have been escalating next door because of hoarding. Yes, Ellen is a hoarder. It has been a problem for years, and sometimes it gets even worse as the garbage piles up outside her front door, attracting rodents and the neighborhood gang of raccoons. Her "lawn" is about 4 feet tall now and deader than dead, which is an extreme fire hazard with the HOT summer days we've been having lately.
After we talked at great length, we finally came up with some ideas of what we could do next. While Billie and her husband (an attorney) would work on some legalities, I offered to call and talk to Ellen, since I have a good relationship with her.
First, I did some research online on how to talk to a hoarder, and how to bring up the concerns we all have in our neighborhood. I found a really good PowerPoint presentation that I emailed to Doug and Billie, and they reported back that they found it to be very helpful.
I downloaded it, but you're welcome to look at it if you're curious:
I said a prayer before I called Ellen, and I know that it helped. As we visited, I asked about her health and how life was going. She asked about my kids and grandkids, and soon she took the first step in the direction I was hoping to go. She admitted that her yard outside needed to be taken care of, and pledged to make some calls and get someone over to weed-whack it all down.
I was able to carefully, respectfully, and gently navigate from the small talk to eventually being able to ask her, "Are you familiar with the term 'hoarder' and do you consider yourself to be one?" I had already told her that I care about her very much and that I am concerned about her health and safety, as well as the health and safety of the neighborhood. Either she is somewhat ignorant about the extent of the piles around (and in) her home, or she is in denial. But again, she pledged to get working on the piles of stuff by her front door. Overall, it was a very good first conversation, and it was a good foundation for the future.
She even called me back a few minutes later to report that she found someone to come and take care of the "lawn" (which is essentially just 100% weeds). I was so proud of her! She also wanted me to know how much she appreciated my friendship and the kindness that I showed to her. She said I am her only friend in the neighborhood and the only person she can trust. She even thanked me for being direct and honest in my questions, instead of "beating around the bush" and "lying" to her, as she felt others had done previously.
I was so grateful that I had not offended her, something I never want to do to anyone! I am also grateful that she was motivated to work on a couple of things, and now we will just sit back and give her some space to make those things happen. If they never happen, and/or if things get worse, then Doug might have to pull some legal strings . . . I hope it doesn't come to that. But I also don't want Ellen's house to go up in flames because something decides to spontaneously combust in the 97 degree temperatures. If it does, then not only will her house turn into toast within a matter of minutes, but MY house (and others) would be at risk as well.
There were a few other "fires" I had to help put out this week, but I won't mention them here. Suffice it to say that for Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, I spent more time ON the phone than OFF the phone . . . Thank goodness for ear buds that connect to my phone so I can multi-task and get the weeds pulled, the dishes washed, the laundry folded, the room tidied, the bathroom cleaned, etc. while tending to loved ones and associates on the phone at the same time.
At one point, Scott said, "Keep it up, you're doing great things!" I responded with, "What if I'm tired of doing great things?! What if I just want to just put in a lame effort and have a lazy day?!" I tried to give myself one solid hour of quiet and peaceful time each of those days, and that seemed to help.
Other Happenings . . .
Monday: Scott gave me a good photo opportunity while he was in Frankfurt, Germany for a certification course this week. He enjoyed the class and passed the test at the end of the week. He is now back home in Italy.
Wednesday: I borrowed a car from the Vances and was able to keep my scheduled appointment at the temple that morning. Thank goodness for wonderful friends! I enjoyed the peaceful spirit of the temple, amid so many things pressing in on me from outside those beautiful walls.
Thursday: This was the day that I finally got my car back, but the day was busy and hectic with all the phone calls and networking that I had to do. At the end of the day, I also had a much needed 2.5 hour video chat with Chelsea, whom I hadn't talked to in a while . . . just a few texts here and there for the last few months because life gets so busy and we sometimes unintentionally neglect those that we care about the most.
Here they are on night #1 in their hotel room. Gwennie is showing me the melatonin gummy bear that Amber administered to her so that everyone could have the best night of sleep. :)
Saturday: I picked a bunch of rhubarb from my hugely overgrown rhubarb plant, getting it all sliced up and ready for whatever I decide to bake in the next few days. (a strawberry-rhubarb pie for sure)
To my other side was Laurel Burch, a dear friend that has since moved out of our neighborhood.
The technician rotated back and forth between Laurel and me, while another technician took care of Jen and Michelle. I had a foot scrub (very tickly), a lower leg massage, and hot orange wax applied to my feet. Strange, but enjoyable. Apparently the hot wax works to seal in moisture which helps your feet to be softer.
What a great way to end some really busy days all in a row. I'm not usually the one to instigate a girls night out, but I'll sure play along if someone invites me!
Sunday: I was asked to fill in as an extra adult in a primary class at church, working with the 6-7 year olds. At the end of the lesson, the teacher asked them to think of a way they could "build" a spiritual wall of strength for themselves, giving them an example of "prayer" to get them started. As they came up with an idea, they first said it out loud, then they came up to draw a "brick" on the chalkboard. By the end of class, we had built a pretty solid spiritual wall of strength!
Some of their ideas included: prayer, scripture study, go to church, keep the commandments, follow the prophet, take the Sacrament, be kind, help others, keep the Sabbath Day holy, honor your parents, etc. They were a cute bunch of kids and I enjoyed hanging out with them for an hour. :)
Time for Grandbabies . . .
Miss Avery - strawberry-blonde and beautiful.
Kylie shared a few videos with me upon request. Avery is soooo cute!!!
Video #1: Avery trying what looks like bites of bread. But sometimes it gets stuck on the roof of your mouth, ha ha. (20 seconds)
Video #2: Avery wanting to pay a visit to their cat on the bed. (20 seconds)
Video #3: Avery wanting to eat her mom's cellphone again. (21 seconds)
Video #4: Avery showcasing her stinkbug crawl style on the hard Italian flooring. *Note the chair that was intentionally placed in front of Mocha so that Avery wouldn't go over there, ha ha. (36 seconds)
Video #5: Avery trying her darndest to get some slickery and slurpy mac & cheese noodles into her mouth. (40 seconds)
Jack - Mr. Handsome and so observant
These shredded chicken nachos look sooo goooood . . .
Video: Jacob sent us this with the caption, "For once we're glad that construction takes forever. He's been project managing from the balcony 8-9 a.m. for weeks now. What will he do when they're done?"
(20 seconds)
Gwen: Precocious McGillicutty
Amber sent us this photo with the explanation: "Gwen will sprint in here wearing every single hair accessory we own all over her body and be like, "there's a man with a whistle and he's making me run, he tells me when to stop and go, I'm on the purple team, what team are you on?" and then sprint out again before I can answer . . .
Abby: Smarter than her britches
As I spoke to Amber and the girls on Saturday once they made it to their hotel in Blanding, Utah, I asked them how the drive was that day. Abby excitedly shared with me that there were "so many sedimentary rock formations on my side!" Wow. I had to look that up to even know what she was talking about!! ha ha ha ha ha
Here's a link if you'd like to know more of what Abby already knows.
A few photos of Abby and Gwen as they journeyed across the United States.
They will be here around 5:00 p.m. TODAY (which is in 2.5 hours). I'll wrap this up so I can work on getting dinner ready ahead of their arrival. Gonna make macaroni and cheese casserole!!! Yum! :)
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