My 2023 Thankful List

Happy Thanksgiving!!! I hope you stuffed yourselves with all the best and favorite foods that you dreamt of, and that you have sufficiently recovered afterwards . . . I am in a faraway land for a few more days and I look forward to sharing photos and stories of this exotic place with you at some point. It shouldn't be too long before I'm able to reveal more details, maybe in a couple more weeks or so.

Scott had most of the day off for Thanksgiving, and we went to a wonderful local and family-owned restaurant for dinner. It sure was nice not to have to cook and prepare a feast, and then clean it all up, too. But I did miss having my whole family gathered around the table with me. As lazy as I have gotten about cooking in the past couple years, I still love to have a meal with a big group of my favorite people. 

I have had several things on my mind lately, so I hope this is a good place to share my thoughts. I know of several people who are struggling in various situations. My heart goes out to them and I pray for them every day. Life is really hard sometimes, and for some, it's hard ALL the time. Bless their hearts, I wish I could take some of their hardships away. At the same time, I know that it is through our difficulties that we become closer to Jesus Christ. And isn't that where we all need to be headed anyway? In a weird sort of way, I guess I am saying that hard things are good things (?) and that we can find joy even in our darkest times. 

That is certainly a lesson I had to learn earlier this year, when Scott's mom, Coy, was diagnosed with cancer and then died 3 weeks later. It is a struggle to find joy when there is profound pain at the same time. But it is possible. 

Scott is also deployed right now, which isn't easy for me. Well, technically, he is deployed within a deployment. My limited time to spend with him was yanked away recently, which made me very sad. It took me a little bit of time, and certainly some effort, but I found a way to balance the loneliness with positivity and productivity. 

This is the essence of why I thought it would be important to share a list of what I am most grateful for this year. Gratitude provides us with a way to be more happy and to be more spiritually strong, something we can all benefit from.

Top 10 Things I'm Thankful for in 2023

1. Every minute that I have with Scott. It doesn't matter what country we're in, what time zone we're in, what altitude we're at, or what we're doing wherever we are. I just love every minute that I can get with him. He is so hard-working and has had such an epic year, with "fires" to put out all over the place on this side of the world, but he always makes sure that I know how much he loves and appreciates me. I love when we go for walks and just talk and talk and talk. Granted, I do most of the talking, but still . . . 

2. Very tall mountains. I absolutely loved our hike through the Dolomites during Labor Day weekend. Big mountains tend to make a person feel very small, and that's okay. It puts things into perspective, like a hush falling over the tiny trail that my feet are carefully picking their way along, and causing my heart to quietly sing, "My God, How Great Thou Art." Some of earth's most incredible mountains were formed when the earth was created so that we could have something beautiful to enjoy during our lifetime. Others were formed as the earth cried out in pain and anguish when Jesus Christ was crucified, and there was much chaos and destruction that followed His death. What an interesting thing to ponder, that beauty can actually emerge from tragic pain.  

3. My children and my children's children. Gosh I love them all so much. I can't think of anything I wouldn't do for them. My kids are doing such a fantastic job adulting and I am so incredibly proud of them. They know how to work hard. They make goals and set about accomplishing those goals. They are kind to each other and the world around them. They are talented and are sharing their gifts with the world. They helped create some of the most darling little humans that ever were born and they're doing a great job raising those little honeybunchies. My kids are in such a busy time of their lives, but they still find ways to share special moments with me and to let me know that they care. 

4. Religious influence and guidance. I am most grateful for my Savior, Jesus Christ and for His loving Atonement in my behalf. I am also grateful for a loving Father in Heaven who reminds me of His love often through warm and reassuring feelings, and glimpses of a peaceful eternal perspective from time to time. I am grateful for the Holy Ghost, who not only inspires me and helps me with daily decisions and needs, but who is also the best possible personal tutor. The Holy Ghost cautions me to refrain from saying something that I might regret, He encourages me to be more courageous in sharing the Light of Christ in my everyday associations, and He teaches me to recognize when I am wrong and to be sorry and repent. I am also grateful for the guidance and instruction I receive from our living Prophet, Russell M. Nelson, along with other Christlike influences in my life, such as bishops, teachers, and other leaders. It truly takes a village to raise this child (me) and I am so thankful for all the kindnesses and unconditional love I have been the recipient of during my whole life.

5. New cultures and new people. I absolutely love to meet new people and hear some of their stories and background. My eternal perspective grows when I learn of similar wants and desires in people all over the world. They want to be happy, to be able to provide for themselves, to be safe and secure, to be surrounded by their loved ones, and to feel like there is hope in this ever-increasing dark world. We are all one because we are all children of God. If we could just stop seeking to exert power and dominion over other peoples and cultures, we would be a much happier world. I love reading or seeing or hearing of traditions that have been passed down for generations, whether it be: the ancestral line of gondoliers in Venice, frescoes and other forms of ancient art that have been restored and carefully kept throughout the world, raising sheep/goats/donkeys and making cheese in the Middle East, teaching children to be kind and welcoming to everyone as the families do in Morocco, or simple Christmas traditions passed down by our grandparents. All of these traditions, cultures, and peoples lend colorful ingredients to our world, with the potential for cultivating happiness as we learn to appreciate and value our seeming differences. Throughout the world, we really are more similar than we are different. We might speak different languages, but inside, we are all pretty much the same. 

6. My parents. I have acquired a whole new appreciation for my parents this past year. Through service opportunities and family history projects (like converting 2100 slides to a digital format), I have come to see them through a new lens, a more appreciative lens. Sometimes we get a lopsided view of things, like our childhood growing up, and we tend to take away one slice of the "pie" and we forget - or didn't even notice - the rest of the "pie". 

Over the past year, I have seen much more of the "pie" and it has helped me find joy and healing for the parts of my childhood that I found lacking. As parents, we tend to do the best that we can in each moment. There is no script, no specific reference in a parenting manual (for _____ situation, go to Chapter 6, page ___, and paragraph ___ for the exact solution), and not nearly enough time/sleep/life experience to be a Perfect Parent. What I have come to appreciate recently, is that my parents were AWESOME. They did a GREAT JOB. They loved me, they provided for me, they incorporated fun and laughter into our childhood, they wove traditions into the holidays, and they tread water as best as they could through some challenging circumstances. For too long, I did not appreciate the wonderful childhood that I had. I focused too much on the parts that left a bitter taste in my mouth. But that was my fault and my choice. 

I can see more clearly now how wonderful my parents truly were, and I appreciate them so very much. I have been taught important values and core ethics, I have been prayed for too many times to count, I have been hugged and cried over, I have enjoyed laughter and hard work, I have been taught that nature and earth's beauty are worth a lot of our time, I have been taught to serve because I have been served, I have been taught how to be humble through their humble examples, and I have been taught to look at the world through a Glass-Half-Full attitude (which has served me well). 

7. The Temple. Ever since I was a little girl, I have had a distinct love and appreciation for temples. When I was 7 years old, I entered the Oakland Temple to be sealed together forever with my family in 1977. This was a very special occasion for me, marking the beginning of my deep connection to God and Jesus Christ, since we were sealed together before I was even baptized. That came a few months later when I turned 8.  

**What is a Temple Sealing? Per the Church of Jesus Christ website:

 

Heavenly Father’s plan of happiness is ultimately to have you and your family live with Him forever. In sealing rooms within the temple, marriages between a man and a woman are performed. There, a man and a woman kneel and join hands across a sacred altar to be married for this life and for eternity. This eternal marriage is called a temple sealing, and children born into such marriages are also sealed to their families forever. Being sealed as a family is the crowning ordinance of the temple and the greatest of God’s blessings for His children.

Those who are married civilly before they join the Church, or before they are able to go to the temple, can also be sealed together as husband and wife. After a couple is sealed, any children they already have can also be sealed to them.

When I went to the temple years later, a couple days before I was married and sealed to Scott, I remember that as I came out of the temple, I felt like I was every bit as clean and pure as the day that I was baptized. My parents were with me and it was a wonderful day together. We drove into Oakland to get some dinner before we drove back up to Ukiah, and when we parked the car, I remember not wanting to get out. The last place my feet had touched was holy ground and I didn't want to step out into the "world". I wanted to keep that reverent and beautiful feeling with me forever. And I have felt that way about temples ever since. 

I might enter the temple in a little bit of a rush sometimes, if I am running late, but I always exit slowly and much more relaxed. The temple is a peaceful place, a place to step out of the crazy world and commune with God and receive personal revelation for our daily lives. What a loving gift and what a tremendous blessing! 

8. Quality Time. I don't know if you have read the book, "The 5 Love Languages", but it talks about five different ways we connect with other people. (Through giving gifts, physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, and quality time.) Well, my love language is quality time. I love a good conversation, a nice walk with a friend, lunch with a friend, etc. I tend to give gifts to others as a way to express my love to them, but I don't need a gift in return. I love connecting to people around me in meaningful ways. I feel like this mirrors Christ's way of ministering to each and every one. It is a little more challenging to stay connected to friends and family when I'm constantly going back and forth between Idaho and Italy all the time, but it is still very worth it. Something I reluctantly decided to do this fall is to get more involved on Facebook. (blech) Why? Because so many of my friends are on there, on both sides of the world. I want to stay connected with them, and they to me, so this is a concession I finally made because people matter to me. While social media is not the most ideal substitute for spending actual time face to face, it can serve as a way to keep in touch if used correctly. Other ways that I keep in touch long distance include making phone calls, or by sending postcards or packages from time to time. 

9. Beautiful music. Especially during the Christmas season. Some of my favorites for the holidays are: 

• Lady A: Silent Night (Lord of My Life)
• BYU Noteworthy: What Child is This?
• Brad Paisley: Silent Night
• Brad Paisley: Born on Christmas Day (a throwback to when he was 13 years old)
• Alabama: Christmas in Dixie
• Peter White: River (featuring Kenny Lattimore)
• Josh Groban: Oh Holy Night

10. Hope and Faith. Without them I would die. Time and time again I have rebounded back from whatever dark place I'm in because of hope and faith. Let me be very clear, the hope and faith I have is in Jesus Christ and all things that come from Him. This means that no matter what my day looks like, or what my year looks like, or what my life looks like, there is hope to cling to and faith to rely on. 

I saw a great example of this when I visited Bassano del Grappa a couple weeks ago. There was an elderly lady walking slowly down the street while pushing her walker along. 

She was going very slowly, and pausing occasionally to rest. She could have very easily chosen to stay home. Despair = not getting out of bed at all, and certainly not going for a walk outside when it is cold and blustery. Hope = doing something to make your body stronger, recognizing that the cold air can be invigorating, adding an extra layer to bundle up and stay warm, and looking forward to seeing a friend or two along the way. 

As I drove from place to place, doing Christmas errands that day, I kept having a recurring thought: We need to FIGHT for hope and faith in our life. When people, events, and circumstances threaten to drag us down, we have to find a way to rise above all of that. In some instances, we really need to fight through the negative thoughts that pop into our head, the depressed state we might be in, and the feeling that nothing will ever improve. Hope allows us to have a more eternal perspective, to understand that this situation is temporary, and to remind us that we can still find joy in whatever circumstances we are in. 

We are meant to have joy in this life.

 

So how do we have joy when we are sick? We find joy in a soothing cup of tea, or a bowl of chicken noodle soup from a can. We find joy in the opportunity to rest and quiet our mind for a day (or two, or longer).

How do we find joy when someone we love has died? We find joy in the memories we made together, celebrating old photos or mementos, and being grateful for the time we had together. We rely on the hope that we will see our loved one again and let this bring a smile to our face. We find joy in incorporating elements of their legacy into our life now, to connect us to them and to make us a better person at the same time.

How do we find joy when we have lost a job or some other sudden change in our life? We find joy in a new opportunity that we would have never considered otherwise. We find joy in developing a new skill or trade. We find joy in communing with God in sincere prayer, asking for guidance and inspiration.

How do we find joy when we are depressed and hopeless? We can find joy in knowing that our Savior Jesus Christ is right there with us every step of the way. While our chemical makeup might be less than perfect, Christ's love and comfort are perfectly suited to our needs. We can find joy in the small things each day: a sun that is shining, or a bit of rain after a long drought, a shelter over our head, a humble meal to eat, an uplifting book to read, a relaxing CD to listen to, or a snuggle from a favorite pet. Joy can also come as you force yourself to serve someone else. As you serve another in need, your heart will be lifted, too. 

While I don't suffer from ongoing depression, I have had occasional days where I feel depressed. I have a fighter spirit, so I choose to fight my way out of that dark pit of despair until I feel better. I do recognize, though, that not everyone has the ability (or desire) to rise above the darkness. There is always hope, however, and it comes in many forms. Getting professional help is crucial right away. And leaning on the Savior through prayer and meditation will also be a beautiful blessing through those dark days.  

I hope you feel gratitude for the things that matter most in your life as we enter this Christmas season. Take some time regularly to just be quiet. Quiet your mind. Quiet your hurt, your frustrations, and your negativity (both to yourself and to others). Exhale all the bad, and then inhale all the good. Breathe in hope, light, kindness, charity, and the inclusive love of Jesus Christ. Once you are filled, find someone to share it all with.