California: Part Two (Trees of Mystery and Family Reunions)
Places mentioned in this post:
Crescent City, CA
Klamath, CA
Ukiah, CA
Willits, CA
Redwood Valley, CA
Laytonville, CA
Portola, CA
Idaho Falls, ID
Wednesday, August 7th: We began our morning in Crescent City, CA by packing our things up and then walking across the street to the Fishermen's Restaurant for breakfast. We had an assortment of omelets, French toast, and some mile-high hot chocolate drinks for Abby and Gwen (with sprinkles!).
Our last stop on the drive down to Ukiah was in the Avenue of the Giants. This is a gorgeous and peaceful drive that runs parallel to Hwy 101, with several trailheads and opportunities to experience the majesty of the many sections of redwood forests. My mom had suggested we stop at the southernmost entrance into the Avenue of the Giants, taking Exit 663 South Fork Honeydew, to see the Founders Tree. From the parking lot and several restrooms, it is a short 1/2 mile trek on a flat and wide trail.
We arrived safely at my mom's house a short time later, joyful to be out of the car and onto dry land at last. Mom did a great job showing the girls around and making them feel welcome. She had been preparing and looking forward to them coming for quite some time. Abby and Gwen settled right in and we all slept really well that night, in spite of the heat. Thank goodness Ukiah cools off at night in the summer.
Thursday, August 8th: The next morning, while I left Amber and the girls to hang out with Grandma Linda (my mom), I drove up to Willits to meet my Dad and accompany him to an important doctor visit. He had recently had a stroke, with a variety of symptoms, and this was his first follow-up to discuss everything. His wife, my step-mom Michelle, was out of state visiting her elderly mother in Oklahoma, and my dad didn't have anyone else to go with him to this appointment. So Amber and I bumped up our schedule to get down to Ukiah/Willits in time, and then I went with him and took notes.
After the appointment was over, Amber drove up with Abby and Gwen to meet us in Willits for lunch at Dad's favorite Mexican restaurant, El Chicano, on Main Street. It was delicious!
When I returned down to Ukiah later in the afternoon, I was able to give my mom the apron I had made for her just before we left Idaho Falls. I used her other apron (it was completely worn out from all the good use she got out of it) as my template and then I knew it would fit her perfectly. She loved it and then wore it every day the whole time we were there! This is a good way to know that the recipient enjoyed your gift . . . :)
Late that night, my sister, Melanie and her son, Caleb (22) arrived from Gilbert, AZ to spend a few days with us, too.
Friday, August 9th: What an incredible day this was!! My mom, Melanie, Caleb, Amber, and I all drove down to the Feather River Temple in Yuba City to participate in some sacred ordinances together.
As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we believe in the eternal nature of the family and the sacred sealing power of the priesthood, which connects families for eternity. We believe that what is bound on earth can also be bound in heaven, and temples are where we take part in this beautiful process.
Front: Caleb (my nephew)
On the Church of Jesus Christ website, it explains:
"The ordinance of sealing children to parents is performed only in the temple. To extend these blessings to all people, we can also perform proxy sealings for those who have died. In this way, all families may be together forever.
"The promise that our families can be together after death gives more meaning in life. It encourages us to be faithful and loyal. It improves and enriches our family relationships. It helps us find joy and hope as we deal with the challenges of life. And knowing that we can be together again brings comfort and peace as we deal with the suffering or death of loved ones.
"The sealing ordinance is a gift from God to His children. It enables us to return to live with Him and all of our loved ones forever. It offers marvelous blessings for this life and the next. It is a constant reminder that families are central to God’s plan and to our happiness here and in eternity."
To learn more: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/temples/what-happens-in-a-temple-sealing?lang=eng
Me, Mom, and Melanie . . .
As we pulled into the parking lot, there were a few chickens and a rooster randomly walking around next to our car . . . it was both curious and hilarious at the same time!
My brother, Ryan, showed up with his 3 kids a few minutes after we arrived, and we enjoyed letting the cousins get to know each other. Abby and Lily are both 9 years old, while Gwen and Blake will both be 7 this year (once Gwen has her birthday in October).
Lily, Blake, and Abby, with Ryan's dog Cooper . . .
Emily, Abby, Lily, Blake, and Gwen
We met at Tom and Kathy Rawles' ranch (my 2nd cousins) at the north end of Ukiah, bordering Redwood Valley. They have a lot of acreage that has been in the family for many generations now, starting with my Great Grandpa E.C. "Bob" Rawles. There are barns and other outbuildings, a pen full of bleating goats, and a lovely home surrounded by several shade trees. It was the perfect place to meet together as the Rawles Family. My dad remembers spending a lot of time on this ranch as a young boy. He would hunt and explore and had some great adventures here.
When she had enough information to make an "informed" decision, she'd whack her little homemade gavel to administer the judgment. She might whack it on the blue pouch on her right that said "free to go", or she might whack it on the red pouch on her left that said, "suspect". If you were considered to be a suspect, you had to stick around for another potential round of questioning. Yikes . . . lol.
Lily liked to be the camera person, recording various interviews, including my own: (1 minute)
Abby, with some feather decor at the reunion . . .
I visited nonstop for about 4 hours with almost everyone! We had a group photo in front of the barn (which I'm patiently waiting for Ryan to edit), we went around the circle to introduce everyone and share a little tidbit about us, we brought our own lunches to eat, and it was all so lovely.
I drove over to the exact spot that I remembered from the last couple of times I've been there. I got out and walked over to the new headstone and just stood there for a few minutes in silence. I wanted to FEEL something. I had prayed earlier that I could feel something when we came.
It finally happened. After a couple minutes of standing there silently, I felt a connection to my great-great grandfather, James Baugh. I felt him saying to me, "Thank you." And I felt a glimmer of love from him. This was a big deal, especially when there is the possibility that he was a hooligan, or perhaps even a criminal. It takes a lot to get through to a hardened heart, even if he's been in heaven for a while and has had some time to think about his life and Jesus and the scope of eternity since 1868. The main thing is that he came through and I felt a connection to him. For the very first time.
I've been studying and researching his roots for about 20 years now, and I've never felt anything from him. This is one reason why I wanted to get a headstone made for him. I guess I figured that maybe, just maybe, if I did something for him - to honor him and show that I love him, then maybe, just maybe he might be willing to help me out in return. Maybe I'll catch a break in my research in the coming months and I'll finally figure out who his parents are and where he came from. And I'll know exactly who helped me when it does eventually happen.
Our hands: Dad (upper left corner), Melanie (top), Me (right), and Caleb (bottom left)
I had intended to be brave and attend my "off-year" high school class reunion. It was scheduled for that same evening. Someone didn't want to wait another 5 years for our 40th class reunion, so they arranged for a 35th year reunion in Ukiah. I knew about it a few months in advance because of a notification on Facebook. And I was in turmoil . . .
I haven't attended a single reunion so far, and I typically just use my silent default excuse of - "Well, I live far away and therefore I can't make it." But this time was different because I would actually BE in Ukiah on the weekend of said event!!! Oh, the dread . . .
I still have some anxiety about the idea of seeing people from high school because I got pregnant during my senior year and ended up giving a daughter away through adoption. I felt (and heard) the whispers around me when I was 17 years old, and I felt horrible inside. It was a first-timer accident and people were talking about me like I was a complete and utter tramp. Well, not everyone. But enough that it felt like it was everyone.
So why would I want to return to that same group of people? Because, as my older sister Charmaine gently said, "People change". She felt that it could be very healing for me to see that people grow up, they mature, they make something of themselves, they become more kind and more forgiving. Life has a way of putting things into perspective. My son, Jacob, also told me that it would be good for my classmates to see that I had also changed, and become something, and made something great out of my life. I came out of the ashes of a teenage pregnancy and became a good mom, a loving wife, a fun grandma, and I've had an incredibly amazing marriage for 32 years. He said, "You don't need to be braggy. You just show up as yourself and they will see and understand."
So I was willing to go. I didn't want to go, but I was willing to go. I even had the perfect outfit picked out. I brought it home in my suitcase from Italy. I transported it in another suitcase as I drove out to Oregon and California. I hung it up in my closet so it wouldn't get wrinkly once I got to my mom's house. I was prepared. And Amber was coming as my date. She would be my support and my buddy. I was planning to go for maybe an hour, and then if I wanted to leave, I could check the whole thing off my list and leave.
But what happened instead was that I had two full days in a row of uplifting, joyous, fulfilling, beautiful time with family - both seen and unseen. I was all tuckered out by the time we got home from the Laytonville Cemetery. Amber had a pretty uncomfortable sore throat and she was super tired, too. I decided right then and there that I wouldn't go. And it felt good inside once the decision was made.
I wasn't running away - because I was willing and I was prepared. Deep down inside, however, I was so filled to the brim with spiritual things and important things and meaningful things. And going to the reunion just felt hollow. Shallow. Not so meaningful. And I didn't have enough energy to engage in any more conversations with total strangers.
Hi. I'm Michele. And who are you?
Oh . . . wow. You look great.
Are you married? Oh - divorced, huh. I'm so sorry.
Do you have kids? Three, eh? That's cool. Me, too!
Oh - your oldest is an intern at the White House? Very cool.
And your middle child is the CEO of their own company? Wow. That's impressive.
And your youngest is working as a diplomat in the Middle East? My goodness. You must be so proud.
I didn't want to pack my exhausted brain with a bunch of details that I didn't have room for in the first place. So, once I decided that I would stay home and just be with the family, that felt like the right thing to do. And I didn't regret my decision. I was at peace with it.
If the opportunity arises someday down the road, I might consider going. But only if I'm already going to be in Ukiah at the same time. I'm not going to make a special trip just for a class reunion. And in the meantime, I will continue doing what I'm doing. I will hold my head high and try to make a difference in this world. And I will be confident in the woman I have become. And that will be enough. Because I am enough.
We ended up taking Abby and Gwen to the park for a little while that same evening. We let them run around and make some new friends on the playground while the rest of us sat around and visited on a park bench. It was very relaxing and I was grateful to be surrounded by family and their love.
Caleb and my mom, swinging to their hearts' content . . .
Amber and I took the girls to get some ice cream at Baskin Robbins before we went home. And as we drove down Perkins Street, we passed the Sports Attic 2, the very same venue where my class reunion was being held. I saw less than 10 cars in the parking lot . . . and I didn't feel bad that I didn't go.
Before bed that night, I began looking through some boxes of stuff that my mom had saved for me. Here is a gem that I found, a poem that I sent to my Grandma Doris when I was a young girl. I'm not sure exactly how old I was, and I'm not sure that I actually wrote this. But maybe I did . . . or maybe I copied it from a book or something?? (click photos below to enlarge)
A cute selfie of Melanie and me before they left on Sunday afternoon to fly back to Arizona . . .
Monday, August 12th: I helped my mom to clean the bathrooms and tidy up after everyone had left. We went into town later to mail a package and visit the Mendocino Book Co. - my favorite book store in the whole world. I spent quite a bit of money there, but I don't regret it.
We drove past our old home on Sanford Ranch Road, the one we moved into when I was about 13 years old. Even though the front yard is dry and dead, the property still looked very nice. This is all too common in CA because there's never enough water, it seems. But the house looks really good and it brought back some happy memories to see it again. I do miss having my sister, Charmaine, living in there, though. Anytime I come back to Ukiah to visit family, I'm always sad that she's not there anymore. She lives in San Diego now, so that's a whole separate visit that I have to figure out.
Jill showed me first how to run the wheel with the foot pedal and how to hold the knife steady while the plate spins so I could trim a nice straight line to form the edges.
That same afternoon, I went to see my friend, Jenn Caudle. We visited about our families and everything going on in our lives, and then we jumped into some family history. We did some research together and I helped her figure a few things out and point her in a direction for some next steps on her tree. She is a great detective and has a keen mind and a good eye for details. It was fun to see her again!
That evening, Mom and I went to place some flowers on a few graves at the Ukiah Cemetery, something we had tried to do a couple of times before but the front gate was always locked and we couldn't get in until now. We hadn't noticed the unlocked walk-in gate to the left of the main gate . . . but finally we got in and could go see Grandma Doris' grave (my first time) and Uncle Ronnie, along with Grandma Zoe and Grandpa John Snider (my dad's parents).
It took us a little while to find Grandma Zoe's and Grandpa John's shared headstone. I knew I was in the right vicinity, but I wasn't seeing it. I opened the app "FindaGrave," because a few years ago I pinned the location of several family members' headstones in the Ukiah Cemetery using this same app. Now, I was able to navigate to their headstone right away, and I hollered over to Mom who was a little ways away looking in a different area. This is the headstone (below), looking south toward Low Gap Road.
Now, they are on the HOME STRETCH to get it listed for sale. Yippie skippie!
Before:
Next, I cleaned all of the windows inside and out, using the old-fashioned method of 2 buckets, a scrubbie sponge, a rag, and a squeegee. Bucket #1 had a little bit of dish soap with the scrubbie sponge. After I first got rid of any spider webs, I scrubbed each window pane. Bucket #2 had fresh water and a rag to wipe the window down and get the suds off. Lastly, the squeegee got it all sparkly and shiny.
We picked up the usual Taco Bell for lunch and worked all day until about 4:00, when we stopped to just sit and visit for an hour until I needed to leave. I absolutely LOVE working on projects like this and I seriously wish that I lived closer so I could do some construction work more regularly.
Hopefully, next summer I can haul my husband out there with me, too, so we can have an extra set of hands that connect to a really smart brain. He's worked on a whole smattering of home-improvement projects over the years: pouring a cement patio, building a deck with steep stairs, vinyl siding, replacing windows, installing hardwood floors, and redoing all 3 bathrooms in our current home from the sub-floor all the way up to amazing. When you marry a mathematician, you also get a really smart handyman!!
After I hugged my Dad and Michelle goodbye, I drove home to my mom's house and got all freshened up so we could go out to dinner. She chose to take me to Patrona in Ukiah, located in the very cute downtown area. This was an early birthday dinner, and it was 100% delicious.
I ordered the corn chowder with bacon bits and green onions, plus some battered shrimp in lettuce wraps.
I accompanied my mom to the FamilySearch Center in Ukiah for her weekly service assignment there. We spent two hours searching for records for some of her late husband Frank's grandparents who had come from Ireland. I haven't spent much time looking into Irish records before, so this was a good time to start! We sat side-by-side and worked methodically to find a couple of sources that we could attach before it was "quittin' time". There's really never a solid "quitting time" when it comes to family history. I have often said, "Family history is like the best suspense novel you've ever read . . . with NO ENDING!" But sometimes, you just have to walk away because life has other demands on your time, too. (This includes eating and sleeping)
I went over to see my friend, Jenn, one more time, and to pay her teenage daughter for some darling sewing projects that she's going to work on for me. She is making all sorts of things, including baby bibs, bowl covers, quilts, etc. She's been doing very well in selling her crafts over the summer. Good for her! She's a very ambitious young lady and I'm excited to see where her talents take her in the coming years.
Me and Jenn . . .
You can fill up the top with sunflower seeds, or nuts, or whatever, and then let the feast begin! There's even a place to mount the picnic table to a tree or a deck or whatever. How absolutely CUTE!!
Before tucking in for the night, my mom and I went for one last walk, this time in the vicinity of her neighborhood, which sits next to a beautiful vineyard and some nostalgic country living.
Friday, August 16th: Time to say goodbye yet again, this time to my momma. We had some good times together, both with a packed house (incl. my daughter and her family, plus my sister and her son, plus Ryan's family) and also some quieter days. Interestingly, the older I get, the more I crave the quieter days. They refresh and replenish me. I'm so grateful, though, to have found some precious photos and poems that will remind me of the love my mother has for me. She has such a big heart and is so good with words and expressing her feelings. I'm so grateful, too, that I was able to be in the temple with her and to see firsthand the joy that she felt when she was sealed to her family. What a beautiful and precious experience!
I hit the road around 7:30 a.m. and drove straight to Portola, CA to see my 82 year old cousin, Valorie Sappingfield. She is a self-professed "hippie" and does not have internet or a smart phone so as to avoid the federal government, LOL. She was eager to see photos and hear stories about our recent Rawles Reunion, though, which I happily shared with her. She also needed to talk openly about her life in great depth with someone who had willing ears to listen and who could relate in certain ways to some of the hard things she's gone through. It was a bit much at times, and I'm never a fan of hearing someone use the F-bomb in a personal conversation, but I tried to just let her get it all out and to focus on being a friend by listening to her.
By the time we finished our visit, including a late lunch at the local Mexican restaurant that we frequent each summer when I pass through (Rico's), I was ready for some comforting silence in the car for a while. I know she won't be around much longer, because she's slowly and quietly dying of cancer. Her breast cancer has returned, and she doesn't want to go through the yucky chemo treatments. She prefers to just let nature take its course, however long or short that ends up being. She is a strong woman, and she's also a caring and wise woman. She is the one who is always thinking of others and sending them cards and notes in the mail. She calls many of her first cousins on a regular basis just to check on them. Sadly, she doesn't get as many responses as she would like, and even I haven't been writing her as often as I used to. I will try to do better!
I took a picture of her living room before I left . . . with all of the simple things she's collected during her long and colorful life.
She gave me a special framed piece of art that she felt impressed to pass on to me: a photo of an old-fashioned thick window pane sitting above a patch of purple irises. It's really quite lovely and instantly reminded me that my Grandma Zoe's favorite flower was a purple iris. Valorie told me that her mother, Mary's favorite flower was also the purple iris. (Zola and Mary were sisters)
This photo was taken by a professional photographer in the 1970's and Valorie originally bought it as a gift to her mother, Mary. When her mother passed away several years ago, Valorie brought it home, and now she is passing it on to me. I feel very honored.
Saturday, August 17th: After staying in a mediocre hotel in Lovelock, Nevada, I had 7.5 hours of driving to get the rest of the way home. I finished listening to the third book of Harry Potter (Prisoner of Azkaban), and I'm already looking forward to listening to the next one.
I drove through a FEROCIOUS storm between Twin Falls and Pocatello, with very strong winds (around 50 mph). I had two hands firmly gripping the steering wheel, too petrified to take either one off even for a moment, and the wind was pushing and shoving me all over the place. I was so glad to be home and out of the car once I finally arrived!
Amber and Weston drove back to Idaho Falls at the same time, but they beat me by a few hours. They came home to collect the rest of their stuff, but also to spend some time with Weston's family one more time. His parents are getting ready to serve their first mission together and they've been assigned to the Santa Rosa CA Mission!! Their specific assignment is to oversee the Girls Camp near Fortuna for the next two years and they are so excited!! They spoke in church Sunday morning and had a brunch at their house with lots of family and friends afterwards.
While Amber and her family were visiting in Rigby Saturday evening, I went to the GYM!! It was AMAZING. I haven't been to the gym for a couple of weeks and I really missed being there. I hopped on the treadmill and watched a show on Netflix on my phone while I exercised on a decent incline. It felt so awesome.
Sunday, August 18th: Amber and Weston attended church in Rigby, while I worked on some things around the house in the morning and then went to my own ward at noon. They came back to my house around 1:00 p.m. and I slipped out of church after Sacrament meeting to meet them there.
I helped a little here and there with the packing and loading, but mostly they did it all and I was just a really good supervisor and cheerleader. We found our old car-top carrier in the garage and Weston figured out a way to strap it onto their roof. They packed as much stuff as they could fit into their trunk and into the carrier, but it still wasn't everything . . . sigh. I didn't realize there would be so much stuff still, or else maybe we could have packed a few more things when we caravan'd up to Oregon 2 weeks ago.
They left around 2:30 p.m., with their cat Broski all harnessed up for whenever they needed to stop at a rest area and attach his leash to let him stretch his legs a little. His annoyed expression says it all.
With the luggage on top, acting as a giant parachute, they got a pitiful 20 mpg on the 10.5 hour drive up to Portland. Amber texted me (and Weston's mom) later that night, around 9:00 p.m. with the following jolt:
"Stopping in Baker City to fill up. Almost ran empty . . . had 3 mi range when we pulled in. We did the math on the other side of Boise and we were going to make it, but then the hills ate up more of our gas and our miles of "wiggle room" decreased from 30...to 20...to 10...to 5...to 1...then Weston was able to switch the gears and coast downhill for a long ways and we gained 2 mi back for our tank. Phew! Won't be cutting it that close again!"
YIKES! Oh my gosh. They were so lucky . . . I'm glad they are young and able to recover from such a whirlwind weekend. They made it safely home around 2:30 a.m. Idaho time (1:30 a.m. Oregon time) and have been taking it easy today (Monday). Bless their little hearts. At least they are all together now and can get settled into their new life up in the Pacific Northwest.
Now, I am in the process of tidying up after the tornado came and left, ha ha. I am doing countless loads of laundry to wash all the bedding, and I'm working hard to get the house ready to lock up when I leave for Italy NEXT WEEK!!! My work list is LONG, but I put in several hours already today (Monday), tackling some tedious jobs. I spent the morning trimming the umbrella tree, trimming down some of the perennials (a.k.a. murdering them before the end of their season), cleaning up my huge mess, sweeping the garage, and switching the laundry every time I could.
Hope your week looks just as fun and inviting! Just kidding. I love to work. And I hope you have a great week. :)
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